No Not Again!
by x Dreams x
Summary: OOC- Draco wakes up one day--- only to find Hermione dressed oddly-- and what's this? Lucius being Un-Malfoy-ish?


Author: x Dreams x  
  
Fic: Lucius and Muggles?  
  
Type: One-Shot/Humor  
  
Note: Major OOC.. just something I dreamt about =D  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
  
- - - - - -  
  
Awaken by a knock at his door, Draco groggily opened the door only to find his father holding luggages as if beckoning him to come.  
  
"Father... isn't that supposed to be the house elves' duty?" he asked with a look of utmost surprise.  
  
Lucius seemed unfazed by the question, "Oh…them? Dear…I ordered them go on vacation. You know those creatures, so cute and cuddly; you just have to let them have time off."  
  
"Okay…" Draco muttered thoroughly confused. Just when he was closing the door to resume his slumber, Lucius stepped in, "Drakey Poo... pack your luggage love. We will travel by the most luxurious form of transportation there is to America."  
  
Flabbergasted by his father's actions this particular morning, Draco decided to do what he was told.  
  
-----  
  
After everything was packed, Lucius led him out to the Manor gates as if waiting for something. Deciding not to question why his father was sitting Indian style on the dusty road, Draco continued trying to figure out what was going on.  
  
'Maybe he drank some sort of hallucination po--" his thoughts were cut off by the sound of flapping wings. 'Bloody Hell!?' Draco exclaimed to himself, 'This is getting absurd.'  
  
He was suddenly engulfed in a shadow. Looking up, he saw to his dismay a large hippogriff, with who…is that Granger?  
  
Suddenly his father was right by his side waving his arms like a maniac at the humungous creature. As it descended near the two Malfoys, Draco noticed its back was perched with a…wooden ship? 'What the bloody hell??'  
  
Rubbing his eyes for better focus, he looked back. There it was…still there. 'But this has got to be the most...' he failed to even come with a formidable word.  
  
'Now…a Malfoy that's speechless, this has absolutely got to be a hallucination.'  
  
Glancing back to his right, he found his father was no longer there. Searching around, he found that the older Malfoy had already started boarding this…ship.  
  
"C'mon Malfoy! Get your arse movin! We don't have all day!" the girl that looked exactly like Granger cried out.  
  
"But ma'am...I'm already here," Lucius answered, looking at the brown-haired girl as if she had grown a third head.  
  
With a snort, Hermione turned back to Draco glaring at him demanding him to start moving.  
  
Shaking his head, in hopes of all of this to disappear, Draco made his way towards the hippogriff...the colossal hippogriff. Boarding the wooden structure, he was surprised to find a tea table with cheese and crackers stashed on each side of the tea pot, which Lucius seem to devour rather quickly.  
  
Glancing down on a Japanese seat (which to Draco, it looked nothing more than a small cushion), he seated himself. Granger emerged, not in her school robes like she did before, but in a set of blue jean overalls and a red cap accenting her outfit.  
  
"All aboard!" She yelled pulling on an invisible string near her hands. Draco thought it was healthier to not question of it or ANY thing that would happen from here on out.  
  
Holding out her hands in a shape of a funnel, Hermione ordered them to put on their seatbelts.  
  
"Seatbelts?' Draco asked incredulously to no one at all. To answer his question, a blue strap appeared near his shoulder blinking the words 'SEATBELT.'  
  
Shaking his head, he pulled the long strap of safety; just awaiting for what his journey held. On the other hand, Lucius looked like Voldemort has ruled the world, his eyes were wide and mouth fitted in a broad grin while straddling the seatbelt like it were one of his prize possessions.   
  
As the hippogriff prepared to ascend towards the sky, Hermione yelled,"It's going to be a bumpy ride!"  
  
'When she said bumpy ride, she meant it,' thought Draco as he watched his father bumping up and down in his seat holding a teacup which sprayed droplets everywhere.  
  
"S-so f-fath er…i-is th-this your f-form of l-u-x-xurious?" Draco tried his best to say through the jumps his body seemed to be experiencing.  
  
Surely enough, his father seems to have the best time of his life, hair bouncing out of place, tea spots on his clothing, yet a huge smiled played on his face.  
  
"This is the best Dracoooooooo--- watch!!" Lucius exclaimed right before he lifted his arms in the air flapping like the hippogriff, "I'm FLYINGGGGGGG!"  
  
The ride was slowly descending over a sand lot, but to Lucius it must have been some illusion, because out of no where Draco spotted a fishing pole in his father's hand. "Don't you like fishing DrackeyCoo?" then to emphasize his point by making a fish face which looked more like a vaccuum.  
  
Draco rolled his eyes, then braced himself for what he felt to be the ship falling towards ground. When the ride was suddenly stationary, he looked around, only to find that he was in a muggle parking lot in...Las Vegas?  
  
"Aww... no fish," he heard Lucius say in the background.  
  
"Stupid Git," Hermione muttered as she reigned the creature.  
  
Before him was a huge building with the large sign, Berkley Mall.  
  
'Okay... this is getting weirder by the minute,' thought Draco. 'Lucius and a muggle city just don't mix," his thoughts were once again cut off when his father jumped from the boat and ran towards the entrance.  
  
"Omigosh…Draco!! The MALL!!" Lucius giggled. 'Wait…did he just giggled?" Draco thought distastefully. 'What in the world happened?'  
  
Instead of going in the mall, Lucius apparated to the top signaling his finger for Draco to follow. Once the younger Malfoy made it to the roof of Berkley Mall, his father suddenly questioned, "What took you so long? Why didn't you come the way that I did?"  
  
Cross-gazing at his father and wondering if it might be Crabbe or Goyle who accidently drank Polyjuice, then he realized... they can't brew it.  
  
"Well…the 'way' that you got up here was to apparate, and if you haven't noticed father…there are muggles around, and plus--- there are stairs just around the turn."  
  
"Oh well…my way's still quicker," Lucius whined with his hands upon his hips. "Anyways…let's go on with what I was supposed to do."  
  
"Take my hands Draco. Form a circle," Lucius mumbled with his eyes closed. When he felt no presence even near him, he opened his eyes in search of Draco only to find him nearly 50 feet and still backing away from his father.  
  
"Oh...Draco come back here immediately," the older Malfoy demanded. Not wanting to be the one to test his father's raft, Draco reluctantly joined hands.   
  
"Now…I'm planning to apparate this mall near the Malfoy Mansion so that we could have it anytime we want!" Lucius stated gleefully.  
  
"You could do that?" asked Draco who was surprised if it was even possible.  
  
Sounding rather offended, Lucius stuck his nose in the air and curtly said, "Watch me," then carefully placed his newly polished fingers on the rooftop.   
  
"Close your eyes Drake." He said then mumbled some sort of incantation.  
  
The next thing, Draco opened his eyes only to see the mall placed right in front of the Malfoy Manor's gates. Staring awestricken at the scene before him, Draco noticed a group of girls talking idly as they exited the mall checking what was in each other's bags. Right as the sunlight hit them, the blonde glanced up with a look full of surprise plastered on her face. He heard her exclaim, "What the HELL--?!?! KNOCK KNOCK...  
  
-----  
  
'BLOODY HELL?!?!' Draco jumped only to see he was back in his bedroom. Eyeing his surroundings, he then rushed to the door. Opening it, he saw his father with a luggage by his side.  
  
'NO…Not again,' Draco thought before hearing his father speak. 


End file.
